Iron Mike Goes Green

The former champ recently announced plans to build Tyson Ranch, a Disneyland for dopers. NatuRx caught up with him to learn how the “Baddest Man on the Planet” got into a business selling a substance that makes people gentle and non-combative.

NatuRx: How’d you get into the weed business?

Mike Tyson: A few years ago, I was shooting a martial arts flick and wound up in a Thai prison…

NRx: Okay, wow. I didn’t expect it to get this weird this fast.

MT:
I started talking about weed with the producer. He conjured up the idea for Tyson Ranch. It was a no-brainer. 

NRx: Tyson Ranch will be huge, with a luxury hotel on 400 acres, an amphitheater, and the world’s longest lazy river. Are you trying to build the Disney World of weed?

MT: We’re gonna be bigger than Disney World. I want to create another lifestyle for the world to indulge in, something they’ve never seen before. But it’s all about health and wellness.

NRx: You’ve admitted to smoking during your boxing career. Isn’t weed the worst thing to ingest when your job is smacking people senseless?

MT: What? No, no, no! Weed attacks your brain and nerve cells, and once it attacks, [your brain] is fluent, it flows. You know what I mean?

NRx: I don’t have the slightest idea. Your brain gets fluent?

MT: Have you ever smoked before?

NRx: Oh yes, many times.

MT: So you know how weed can put you in that mood of acceleration? When you smoke, don’t you say, “There’s something that needs to be done”? 

NRx: Like order a pizza? 

MT: No, no! You don’t know what it is but there’s something that needs to be done. 

NRx: Did you ever smoke before a fight? 

MT: Only once in my life. In 2000, against Andrew Golota. 

NRx: You beat him, right? 

MT: Yeah, but they fined me $250,000 because I tested positive. So maybe it wasn’t a good idea. 

NRx: But you won! 

MT: I did! It was the most damage I ever put on another fighter. 

NRx: That seems crazy. I’ve never smoked and thought, “I need to punch somebody!” 

MT: It wasn’t about anger. [The weed] put me in a confident state. It was like I was outside my body, watching myself fight. You know about telekinesis? It was kind of like that. 

NRx: You were moving objects with your mind? 

MT: It was almost like I was outside of my body and I was telling my body how to punch and to move. I could see everything. I was instructing myself like a student. 

NRx: Are you into pipes or bongs or vaping? 

MT: I favor spliffs. 

NRx: What’s your rolling technique? 

MT: If I can be honest… 

NRx: Please. 

MT: I have a guy who rolls for me. You know how most companies have CEOs? I have a CRO—a chief rolling officer. 

NRx: What kind of salary can somebody earn for rolling joints for Iron Mike? 

MT: [Speaks to a guy.] What do you make a year? [Pause.] $20,000? That’s not bad, is it? [Laughs.] 

NRx: Is he rolling right now? 

MT: He is. [Laughs.] A joint roller’s work is never done. 

NRx: How much weed do you smoke? 

MT: I don’t know. Maybe $10,000 a week. 

NRx: What? That’s impossible! 

MT: Well, we’ve got 50 people at the office. So they all chip in. [Laughs.] I got to take care of my people. 

NRx: What are you like stoned? Giggly? Talkative? Paranoid? 

MT: No, I’m mostly… curious. 

NRx: Curious about what? 

MT: Anything! Everything! I’m really interested in God right now. Who created God? Where did the idea of God come from? I want to be close to God when I get high.

NRx: This conversation is starting to make me feel a little stoned. 

MT: Yes! Now you’re getting it. A good conversation can get you high.